


Neutral Attraction

by RecoveringNavigator



Series: Colors [2]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Christmas Sweaters, Depression, F/F, F/M, Fluff, High School, Jealousy, Jean is a dick, M/M, Multi, One-Sided Attraction, One-Sided Relationship, Other, Randomness, Sleepovers, boys liking boys, but like also cheating, cheating but not cheating, damn thats confusing, genderless hanji, kinda neglectful parents, later explain better, levi who loves tank tops and joggers, punk Armin, slight OCD, slightly mental levi, texting after midnight
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-21
Updated: 2017-01-02
Packaged: 2018-09-01 06:11:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8612350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RecoveringNavigator/pseuds/RecoveringNavigator
Summary: Levi gets an unexpected text and shit just goes downhill mushy lane from there guys. At least for him anyway. Get ready.





	1. White

**Author's Note:**

> Sooo....I know I promised I'd update more but I got stuck in a writer's rut and my mental health is just like, "Haha, you thought you'd. be writing. Bitch no." And that's why I haven't updated in soo long. Hopefully the next chapter will be finished this month. I promise I did my best to make this one longer and more interesting in a way. I'm not just gonna drop this fic because I really am starting to fall in love with it again. So don't worry. I'm gonna keep writing. c:
> 
> P.S. I had this whole awesome idea about inserting images and being awesome but it didn't work out....so you guys get links.

By the end of the day, I had been suspended for being involved in a “physical and verbal altercation”- even though I only did it to defend the victim from the attacker. I mean, don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I was surprised. After  _ all _ , the sarcasm and rudely placed opinions I spat were pretty direct, to a higher authority figure no less. I’m honestly more shocked that I wasn’t bent over and just flatly booted right out Principal Smith’s door. But, of course, I knew deep down in my soul that such actions would never take place; for that would show too much emotional attachment to the colorful words I had painted out in the air; it would mean I won the inner and outer battles while he lost both arguments simultaneously. And even though we weren’t in public, I knew that [looking back on those clearly aggressive moments] shit could’ve turned physical quickly- that is, if he was still around my age.

 

Now that I was stuck at home for a number of four days, I had began to pick my brain for something,  _ anything , _ to do in my goddamn house. The low murmurs of my radio clock seemed to leave me uneasy but still did their job for keeping me aware that I was wasting my non everlasting youth. Moments seemed to pass by slowly, but still too fast for my taste. My sighs filled the air with distaste. Fingers rapidly tapped against my headboard at a specific rhythm that resembled typing away at a keyboard.

 

In the end, I concluded in my mind that the best thing to do was to try cleaning out the back of the refrigerator. Bowls of forgotten leftovers, misplaced silverware left in said containers badly wrapped in tin foil, and old drinks that obviously had been spilled at one point and time were packed all together in the back of the fridge.  _ Disgusting _ , I thought. It was almost as if I didn’t share a home with anybody at all. And trust me, I knew goddamn well I did. I had cleaned enough to know that the overwhelming scent of lemon Pledge and Clorox Bleach hadn’t caused me to hallucinate that wad of brown hair I had dug out of the sink’s drain last week. I shuddered at the unsettling memory. That was a dark day for Ackermans everywhere. A very dark day indeed.

 

Just when I was emptying out a plate of moldy grill cheeses that had been buried under countless layers of grated cheese, as if that would make it more visually appealing to consume, my cell phone began to ring. Adele’s song “ _ Hello  _ ” began to echo throughout the kitchen.  _ That’s strange _ , I thought as I reached into my back pocket.  _ Her voice is only supposed to play when I get a text or whatever from an unknown number.  _ Instead of dwelling on that, I decided to just unlock my phone and see who the hell it was.  _ Obviously, it had to be someone with pretty big balls. I mean, who would just contact THE Levi Ackerman without a good fucking reaso- _

 

Unknown: Hi Levi!~ This is Armin... I was wondering if you got suspended for as many days as I did?

Unknown: Oh gawd wait, I guess I should apologize for that!

Unknown: :c

 

_ “  _ Well, fuck me sideways with my mother’s favorite vibrator... _ “  _ , I murmured. I reread those text messages over and over and over until finally my eyes froze on the first few keywords words.

 

_ “ Hi Levi!~ This is Armin…” _

 

It was him… Sweet fuck, it was him! The boy with the huge ocean-like eyes and the tight leather jeans that I could only describe as nothing but sinful. And like I already said, I was willing to roast to ashes on an iron rod in the lowest gates of Hell if it meant having this boy’s attention- even if it was just for a split second. I quickly began to realize that over ten minutes had past and I still hadn’t replied to any of his messages. But shit, can you really blame? It’s not like it was every day a hottie with red velvet colored nails decided to hit me up to apologize and worry over something I voluntarily took part in. I chose to reply after I finished placing all the things that needed to be refrigerated back in their rightful places. All because he sent me messages didn’t mean I had to speedily reply to it like the whipped man I knew I was becoming. Like come on guys, you know me. I’m an Ackerman after all.

 

It was exactly 5:18 PM when I finally decided to grace him with a reply.

 

Me: I got more than suspended....

Me: I GOT FUCKING LECTURED TO HELL!

Me: But I'm sure you knew that brat.

 

_Ping_

 

Unknown: Haha, actually I do know that... I did eggsdrop on you guys after all.  

While I know I should’ve been bothered by the fact that this kid was eavesdropping and basically admitting (to me of all people) that he stalked me, I was honestly more curious than anything.  _ At least, I assume that’s what his terribly formed reply means… _ Something about me had evidently caught this brat’s attention… I wonder what it was.  _ Was it due to the fact that his loud “My Little Pony” looking ass boyfriend couldn’t stand me? Or maybe, it was because I couldn’t take my eyes off him that entire bus ride? _ I pondered the answer for a minute or two. Time seems to drag on when you think about someone else and the possible causes for their actions. Well, whatever it was didn’t matter to me at that moment. I was just glad something did.

 

After about thirty minutes of sending back playfully snarky replies and confirming to him that I was indeed alright, he had somehow, magically, convinced me to let him come over to assist me with my random cleaning spree- as payback, he hastily added last second. I was so enraptured with the fact that he wanted to clean with me that I swiftly replied, “Yes.” without any hesitation. I just wasn’t sure what I was thinking when I had agreed to that proposal, but I quickly realized that this was all happening, like RIGHT now.

 

My feet pounded harshly against the wooden floors as I ran around like a chicken with its head cut off. Plates were placed in their rightful cabinets. Clothes were taken out of hampers and thrown into the washing machine with less grace than a bow legged swan. It was just all out of control. But in all honesty, that wasn’t the only thing that was out of control. I was a complete mess. It was just all happening so fast. One moment we had been cleverly conversing about random thoughts we had for one another, and then all of sudden we had somehow ended up talking about hanging out. It rapidly began to occur to me that after I had agreed to allow a handsome boy into my house, that I had been careless. Instantly remembering that the people who inhabited this house alongside me were fucking unorganized and scatterbrained as _ shit,  _ I nervously began to rearrange my house.

 

This went on for about five minutes or so and, just as I was about to pick up a wrongfully discarded piece of tissue, a series of knocks resounded through the entire house. Or that’s at least what I thought; in reality those knocks were barely making solid contact with the dark mahogany wood that made up the front door. To me though, it was ear splittingly loud.

 

Opening the door, a little too fast if I must say, I could tell I must’ve looked awestruck.

 

His eyes looked just as breathtaking as they did when I last saw him. The fact that he had traded in his leather jeans for midnight black joggers was dutifully noted somewhere in the back in my head. I guess I must’ve looked pretty ridiculous staring at him like he was a god or something; for all I began to hear were the sounds of hardly concealed chuckles behind gloved fingers.

 

“Well, are you gonna keep staring at me like you didn’t invite me over or what? It’s freaking freezing out here, Levi.”

 

And with those few words spoken, he swiftly made his way into my house.

 

Of course, my brain took some time to register what had just happened.

 

It’s not that I wasn’t listening. It’s just that after all that time of me standing there like a fish out of water, I had just begun to realize that Armin was heavily soaked from head to toe. Apparently, I was so busy cleaning that I didn’t notice that it had been raining for the last couple of hours.  _ Wow, I must’ve been really nervous. Well, I still am nervous but at least now I fucking know. That was a good thing right? Definitely. It was abso- fucking- lutely a good thing. Now if only I could be given a honorary reward for actually using context clues to decipher this- _

 

“Levi, are you there?”

 

“W-What?”  _ Gawd, did I just fucking stutter. Smooth Levi. Just smooth. _

 

“I said, would it be alright if I used your shower? And, maybe a change of clothes? If you’re willing to spare a pair of anything, I mean.”

 

“Yeah. Sure. Give me a sec.” I made sure to keep my reply short and to the point. I wasn’t going to risk further humiliating myself. I mean, I did have  _ some _ dignity. Though it was quickly decreasing every second I opened my mouth in front of this kid.

 

After fetching him a pair of  [ joggers ](http://g01.a.alicdn.com/kf/HTB1bw8kLFXXXXXfXXXXq6xXFXXXo/Mens-Joggers-New-Fashion-3D-Cut-Black-Joggers-Harem-Pants-Men-Sweatpants-Male-Sports-Track-Jogging.jpg) and a  [ tank top ](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/ee/5e/8b/ee5e8b50c39003973d67243a43098528.jpg) from my room, I quickly gave Armin instructions to the closest bathroom. I also made sure to explain to him which soaps he could use and where the towels were kept. It wasn’t anything too complicated in the end, for when he reached said destination he then found it necessary to inform me that he easily located everything. I then yelled back a “ Glad to see you’re not a helpless damsel in distress after all.”

 

With that all said and done, I decided to resume what I was previously doing before he had arrived. There were still a few things I needed to knock out before I could even think about relaxing. Plus, with Mr. Damsel In Leather occupying my house with his presence, I was far too nervous to just not do anything. I walked across the living room to the portable iPod nano  [ speakers ](http://technabob.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/waldok_ipod_nano_dock.jpg) and decided to switch it to shuffle before I pressed play. The tranquil voice of Conor Oberst filled the room with a peaceful, nostalgic feeling. It was like my father was still here with me instead of the mental disaster of a man I saw every day. It was like my mother was still in love with the thought of him and her being together. It was strong and it was right and it was what helped me to swiftly glide from window to window without a second glance. A bottle of Windex in my left hand and a old handful of newspaper in my right were the only tools I used to cleanse the old smudges of fingerprints and handprints from the glass splattered with rain drops.

 

Counting the number of times I dragged the damp paper across the window, I soon began to hum quietly to myself. Back and forth. Back and forth. Back...and forth. It was almost like I was in a trance. A hypnosis, if you will. Except, I was highly aware of what I was doing. It was what my father raised me to do, after all. And as I did said task, I slowly began to mouth the words of the song that began to repeat over and over again. I must’ve accidentally left it on repeat instead of shuffle. That was ok though. It was my favorite song after all.

 

_ This is the first day of my life _

_ Swear I was born right in the doorway _

_ I went out in the rain, suddenly everything changed… _

 

“They're spreading blankets on the beach.”

 

A gasp pried its way past my lips.

 

I turned to find Armin leaning on the doorway, fully dressed in the clothes I supplied him with. His hair hung loosely in a low ponytail. But somehow he managed to forget a few damp strands that instead decided to frame around his ears. The small smile on his face made me feel like I was almost…. like I was watching a movie about a boy that loved another boy that was obviously out of his lead. It was like I wasn’t even there anymore. For if I was, God knows I would have been up in Heaven thanking him for sending me such a spirit. I hardly knew the kid, but I did know that he had a certain air about him. And no matter how many times I saw him, I was positive he would leave me breathless every time. Over and over again.

 

“You’re staring you know.”

 

I could feel the warmth radiating from my cheeks begin to spread, but I swore I wasn’t blushing. And even if I was, I would never admit it.

 

“How long have you been standing there?” I snarled. Hopefully that would distract him from whatever my face was involuntarily doing.

 

“Hmm. Let’s see….”, he slowly annunciated each word as if he had to  _ actually _ remember how long he stood there watching me. That little blonde fuck muffin knew. It was so obvious that he was just yanking my chain.  “... I was here around the time you started singing to yourself as you swayed from window to window. Or maybe, I wasn’t here until now and I just so happened to hear you singing while I made my way down the hallway. You can pick whichever one you find less embarrassing. “

 

“Tch.” I clicked my tongue against the roof of my mouth in annoyance.

 

_ Cocky little asshole. _

 

“Well, I wouldn’t say I was an  _ asshole _ . More like, an individual that loves to be a smartass occasionally. Depending on the circumstances, of course.”

 

My shoulders jumped a little as I watched the boy make his way over to the couch. Not only had I just called my kinda-sorta-but-not-really-crush an asshole, but I had also given him enough time to come up with a come back.  _ Shit _ , I thought,  _ I must be losing my edge. Get it together, Ackerman. _

 

I made sure to saunter over with slow and calculated steps. Keeping my face blank, and my back straight as I approached that amazing little shit. When I was two inches away from where he sat, I noticed he was casually looking over my stature with a small smirk on his face.  _ Oh, so you think my height is funny? I’ll show you funny when I tear that dumb smirk off your dumb face. _

 

With my hands on my hips, I leaned forward with a scowl on my face.

 

_ “ _ So what’s the difference?”, I said, “In the end, you’re still a part of the rear end.”

 

“Ahh, but you see I’m the best part. The cheeks.”

 

“Ha. If you think that’s the best part then you really haven’t experienced shit.”

 

“Oh?”

 

It was then that I began to notice how Armin had somehow invaded my space without moving a muscle. His eyes were on me, intensely waiting for my response. It was almost like he was challenging me. My knees felt weak at just the thought as I quickly averted my eyes.

 

“Stop fuckin’ looking at me like some damn creep. Just say that I’m right.”

 

“So you can stare at me all you want, but I can’t?”

 

“Damn straight.”

 

“Heh, well I wouldn’t say I was being damned for being  _ straight _ .”

 

My eyes snapped back to his just in time to see a small laugh push pass his lips.  _ Goddamn, his lips are so freaking pretty. It’s like he just can’t have one fucking flaw. Like why me God, why. _

 

“ You know Levi, you’re really funny. Especially when you make that face.”

 

“What?” I cocked my head, daring him to go on. “What face do I make?”

 

There was a small flame of amusement that lit his eyes.  

 

“I’ll tell you next time. But for now, how about you tell me how I can help you clean? It looks to me like everything is already done.”

 

I looked around the neatly cluttered living room and found that he was right. Everything did seem to be in order.  _ I must have cleaned everything while he was in the shower without noticing or something. Fuck. _

 

“Well…”, I thought out loud, “... I’m not sure what we could do, unless you have any ideas.”

 

I admittedly regretted those choice of words when I saw Armin’s face. The only words that could describe it were “completely and utterly overjoyed”.

 

“Karaoke!”

 

“Hell no.” I spat as I turned around to leave. I didn’t sign up for some cliche, wannabe slumber party. What’s next? Giggling over which boy bands we liked best.  _ Like hell I’m even entertaining this shit. _

 

_ “ _ Oh come on, Levi! What better way to get to know someone then to sing terribly off- key with them at night on a school night?”

 

“One, who said I wanted to get to know you. And two, it doesn’t count as a school night when you are suspended. Which by the way, is all thanks to you.”

 

“Pfft, and how do you figure that?”

 

“Because you started fucking boxing that martial arts cheerleader chick AND you somehow got me mixed up in the whole thing and as if that wasn’t bad enough, you-”

 

I felt gravity act against me as I was pulled down onto a soft surface. My surroundings became clear to me as I realized I was laying haphazardly spread out on the couch. Armin was staring down at me, but even while he was upside down in my peripheral vision, I could still tell he was looking at me like I was the biggest moron he ever met. With a cocked eyebrow and neutral expression etched on his face.  _ Don’t fuckin’ give me that look, you little shit- _

 

“You did that on your own.”

 

“What?” I hissed as I glared up at him. He in turn huffed and gave me the most calculated stare I’ve ever seen. It was like he was searching for the right words to express to me his thoughts.

 

“I said…”, he whispered and leaned forward, lips ghosting over the tip of my nose,” ...who asked you to help? If I recall correctly, you jumped out of the crowd and got yourself involved. Which is why you have this hilarious bruise right above your left eyebrow.”

 

He then poked said eyebrow as if it would better help get his point across.  

 

“Well, excuseeee me for being nice.” I spat.

 

That was the last time I was ever gonna help someone. I rolled over and smothered my face into the nearest couch pillow.

 

“You don’t have to pout into the couch all because I was right, Levi.”

 

“ I’m not poutin’, you ass.”

 

“Sure looks like it.”

 

“Yeah, well, I’m not poutin’. I just got tired of looking at your fuckin’ split lip.”

 

“Oh, is that so?”

 

“Yeah, it is  _ so _ Mr. Arlert.”

 

“Well, then. Maybe you should stop  _ staring _ at my lips.”

 

“You know what, I don’t even know why I let you come over. You’re such a prick and I just met you yesterday.”

 

“No, I’m not.”

 

My head snapped up so fast I’m surprised I didn’t break my neck. If that fucker was gonna start acting all sweet and innocent, he had another thing coming. Fluttering his eyelashes at me like some Little Miss Pageant winner. Sure, maybe it was possible that my crush was innerly a sweet guy. But with that freaking smart ass mouth and cocky way he smiled at me, there was no way I could possibly believe that facade. My eyes met his with an irritated, dirty look. I wanted him to know just how wrong he was. So with a deep breathe, I dragged my voice up through the lowest part of my vocal cords and growled out my response.

 

“Yes, you really fucking are-”

 

_ Click. _

 

And just like that, everything stopped. Darkness surrounded me like the walls of a prison. The sounds of my iPod nano continued to rush through the air, with the rain as its background singer. It chilled me to be here like this. Next to the boy I just met. In my house with no lights, I felt blind. I desperately tried to get my eyes to adjust to it all.

 

_ “Yours was the first face that I saw _

_ I think I was blind before I met you _

_ I don't know where I am, I don't know where I've been _

_ But I know where I want to go..” _

 

Strangely enough, my ears began to register a lot more than they did before. Lyrics that spoke of first time discoveries. Words that described thankful feelings for being able to experience another person’s presence. And for once, I began to actually listen to it with a new wave of future nostalgia. Looking back at it all, I think this would be what I would describe as the first day of our lives.


	2. Eggshells

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Indoor bonding? Levi has a full inner anxiety/ panic attack. Armin knows exactly how to handle everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I legit had this already written out for weeks but I didn't know what to do?? Like I thought I would add more, but I just COULDN'T DO IT!!! Soo I'm starting the next chapter right now guys and I hope I don't over think it all. Please be patient with me guys. I swear I have an idea of where I am going kinda....well not really. 
> 
> Enjoy reading guys!~ 
> 
> P.S. HAPPY NEW YEAR'S GUYS!

Bright eyes.

 

That’s all I could see as the continuous sound of rain tapped against the roof of my house. It was almost as if a thousand mice had began jumping up and down on every nook and cranny outside. It was loud and it unsettled me. My heavy pants began to slice through the air. Apparently, I was so surprised by the power going out that I forgot how to breathe. It was all very suffocating, really. I never was one to enjoy the dark. It made me feel helpless and trapped. Like I was still that twelve year old brat that couldn’t help but disobey daddy occasionally. 

 

“ Levi, are you alright? You sound like you can’t breathe.”

 

_ Shit,  _ I thought,  _ I need to stop and not think about him right now.  _ I muttered a response to Armin that consisted of an “ I’m fine” and an “ Alright .” as I rose from the couch. Now would be a great time to look for those flashlights I got last week. When Petra asked me why we were shopping for said item that day, I just shrugged and stated that:  _ “You never know when you’ll need one with this crazy weather.”.  _ In reality, my father had told me that morning that he  _ really  _ needed them to look behind the stove. He said he had to make sure that we didn’t have any mice that would spy on us for the government. I decided, then and there, to never ask my father why he needed anything ever again. Hopefully though, he didn’t take the flashlights with him when he left this morning with my mother. He had a tendency to do that.

 

“ Arlert, are you good at seeing in the dark?”

 

“ Well, I would like to think so. Why? Are we getting candles?”

 

“ Flashlights. That’s what we’re getting. Well, that’s what we are looking for.”

 

The sound of the old couch creaking filled my ears. That always happened when someone moved to stand. It was just another thing I was used to. The soft shuffling of Armin’s feet was almost too quiet to hear, but I knew it was him when I felt a hesitant brush of a hand near my shoulder. 

 

“ Just lead the way then, Captain.”

 

“ Tch. Wipe that damn smirk off your face. I may not be able to see you but I can sense when you’re just being an asshole.”

 

“ Yeah, yeah. My apologies,  _ Captain _ Levi.”

 

“ Laugh it up while you can, Blonde Judas. Cause imma wipe that cocky ass mask off your face when I can see.”

 

After a few more sassy, animated replies were exchanged,  _ mostly about how Arlert wasn’t wearing a mask and if anything I was _ , we then proceeded to search the house in an attempt to locate the flashlights. I showed and instructed Armin on where to look. Top of the cabinets near the fridge, under the coffee tables, behind the bathroom toilet, in the shoe closet, and even in certain cereal boxes were a few of the places we searched. Just when we were about to give up, I found the flashlights poking out of an open bag of rice in the sink. But….

 

“ God fucking damnnit, they’re wet.”

 

Leave it to my dad to decide that this would be the perfect place to put flashlights. Just leave it to him. 

 

“ So…”

 

I shot a side glance at Armin, but really couldn’t make out anything except his eyes and teeth. If anything, he looked as if he wanted to ask why my family would place electronics in a soaking wet bag of rice. I debated helping him out, but chose against it. It wasn’t any of his business anyhow. _ ‘I know my family is weird….’,  _ I thought. _ ‘..I fucking live with them.’   _

 

“ I’m not answering whatever you’re askin’. Either you can still ask and risk gettin’ socked in the face or you can help me think of a better solution.” I growled.

 

Silence soaked up the walls of the kitchen like a sponge. It only helped to intensify the sounds that bleed through the windows and front door. Rain had a funny way of being both beautiful and terrifying, depending on the situation.

 

“ Well…” he murmured.

 

“ Well, what?” I snapped.

 

It’s not that I meant to come off as harsh or agitated. It’s just that when it came to my family… I could tend to be a little...defensive. Gawd, knows I’ve tried this all before.  _ People say it’s alright until they see the symptoms...Then all of a sudden you’re the freak. _

 

We stood there for what felt like hours, neither of us making a move. It wasn’t until a flash of lightning struck that I finally saw Armin exhaling a startled gasp. His eyebrows were knit loosely together as he took in my appearance. Eyes swept up and down my body with some type of unspoken purpose. Afterwards, his shoulders fell and his eyes held a look that could only be accompanied by deep thoughts and nothing else. I wasn’t sure what to think about it. But one thing was certain, when the light that had covered the room vanished. Recognition and understanding were mixed in those irises, like creamer in freshly poured coffee. It held me. And once the darkness engulfed us once again, I didn’t feel that alone or angry anymore.

 

“ I’m sorry.” I said.

 

“It’s alright. You don’t have to apologize.”

 

I know he had a lot of questions on why I reacted the way I did, but honestly I didn’t have any answers. My remorseful tone was proof of that.

 

“Hey, I got an idea Captain. Follow me.”

 

I heard Arlert’s socked feet hastily smack across the floor.  _ I guess I should follow him then, huh.  _

 

I cautiously felt my way towards where I thought I heard the boy run. It took me a little while to reach him, but I’m pretty sure I would’ve been there faster if I hadn’t knocked over a few things in the process of my journey.  _ Damn this darkness and damn those oddly placed end tables. Like why do we even have those! We don’t even put them at the end of any of our tables.  _ Before my thoughts could go any farther, my eyes caught the outline of Armin kneeling in the middle of the living room. He was moving things against the walls, such as the couch, books, pictures my dad drew, and even the small coffee table. Confusion and curiosity filtered all of my thoughts, and it was then I decided that now would be better than ever to voice all of the questions I had.

 

“ What the hell are you-”

 

“Shhh. Give me a sec, Captain”

 

“Ughh, and will you stop callin’ me that. I have a  _ name _ , blondie.”

 

But instead of answering my plea, he just went along with whatever he was doing. I settled with just observing him move around my living room, like some energetic toddler. He obviously had a goal. I just couldn’t tell what it was. Ten more minutes passed before finally he stood facing me with a confident air surrounding his stance. My eyes must have adjusted to the darkness because I could faintly see Armin moving his left arm in search of something. It wasn’t until he brought the object near his face that I was able to identify it as his cell phone. It lit up instantly and faint tapping could be heard as his fingers glided across the screen. After a few more faint dings and a couple clacking of his fingernails against said device, the room began to take on a new look.

 

“Soo…” Armin began to speak carefully as he placed his phone on the floor. “..... how’s this?”

 

I finally was able to take in the scene that Arlert had created. And it was…

 

_...Beautiful. _

 

Pillows and couch cushions and stacks of books were strategically placed in a large circle. The thin blankets and sheets that were once neatly folded in a cluttered corner somewhere were now thrown over said stacks of books and cushions as if to form a small home of sorts. From here I could see the thicker blankets, sheets, and pillows were comfortably placed inside said fort. The room itself was all covered in the soft glow of burnt orange and fiery red. My eyes continued to take everything in.  _ How is the room even…  _ Before I could even voice my thoughtful musings, he beat me to it. 

 

“I have this app…..o-on my phone, I mean.” he murmured. 

 

His hands were playing with the hem of the shirt I lent him. His eyes were looking everywhere but at me, as if he was trying his best to explain his reasoning for rearranging my house. I honestly didn’t mind at all. It always bothered me how hazardly everything was placed. I had the aggravated scratch marks on my windowsill to prove it. I wasn’t left to contemplate on what he had said to me for his voice started up again. His murmurs rose a little louder, a little more self assured, as he began to continue his point.

 

“ It’s an app that imitates the sounds and glow of a real fireplace. I never really used it much, except when I wanted to reenact fake camping trips with the gang over Eren’s house. I never was allowed to go out in the woods. My parents are too much of worry warts for that. But now..... I’m kinda glad they are. We’d be fucked otherwise. Hehe”

 

Armin’s chuckles were small and giddy, but I could tell he was also waiting for my response to all this. I honestly had no idea what to say, except that he had a really nice smile. Like really, really nice. I tried to not lose myself in those pearly whites as my mind raced for what a good reply would be. 

 

“This is….”

 

_ Think danmmit, think. Don’t let him think you are ungrateful, you shit. _

 

“..... this is very nice, Armin.” I whispered.

 

_ Oh fucking hell. Nice? Did I really just say nice? Why couldn’t I say amazing or even awesome?! Wait. Have I even said awesome before? Would that sound weird out of my agitable mouth? Knowing me, I’d probably make it sound like a damn insult instead of a compliment. Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid- _

 

“ Hey, Levi.”

 

I swear I never looked up so fast at another human being in my life. That is until now. I hadn’t even noticed that I had begun to stare down at the floor. My mind was just racing too fast. My palms felt sweaty; I could feel my heart clawing at my ribs in need of fresh air; my chest felt too congested. It all just felt too crowded and overwhelming and, and, and....  _ Wrong _ . But talking to people, and trying to act like a normal person always felt like that. It always feels like  _ this. _

 

“Y-Yeah.” I stuttered.

 

_ Sweet fuck. Now I’m stuttering… _

 

“Come lay down with me.”

 

“W-What?”

 

“ I said….” He reached his hand out as he began to bow to me, as if he were some kind of fairytale prince. “....come lay down with me. It’s why I built the fort anyway. So come on. Don’t leave your cadet hanging.”

 

“I...I don’t know what to say. This is idiotic and childish and, and-” I was rambling, but Armin wasn’t having any of that.

 

“Just say yes.” he said.

 

And after a few more minutes of resistance, I finally said: 

 

“.....fine.”

 

“That’s more like it, Captain.”

 

He smiled as he gently grabbed my hand and led me to the fort we would be residing in. I could feel the slight trembling in my hand as I felt his pulse beat through his palm into mine. It all felt too friendly and familiar. I wasn’t sure how to react. Hell, I never even held hands with Petra. It was too nerve racking. All I could seem to focus on were the thoughts that occupied my head and how I knew for a fact that he could tell I was shaking.  _ It’s ok. It’s gonna be ok. You’re not a freak. Not a freak. Not a freak. Not a freak- _

 

“Levi.”

 

“ _ What _ ?” I angrily mumbled.

 

“Tell me what your favorite color is.”

 

My eyes finally flicked up to his. I wasn’t sure when we had begun lounging on our backs next to each other, but I knew it must’ve been for awhile. My back had already began to make a dent in the blankets. I could feel my spine form to the curves and bumps that laid underneath us. My ears were beginning to register the sound of my heavy breathing. It was scary and soothing at the same time. When had it gotten so hard to inhale air? Did I even need to anymore? It felt so much better to just let it sweep me away. It sometimes just felt so  _ right _ to be swept away.

 

_ I wish I could always feel like this without the initial panicking. _

 

After a couple more minutes passed, I remembered that I had yet to answer Armin’s question. I chose to do so as I began counting how many small pink roses were scattered across one of the many loose, wrinkly bed sheets that overlayed each other above us. So far, from what I could see, there were twenty in the far right corner.

 

“....I guess I like red... and blue now.”

 

“ Oh? What were your favorite colors before that?

 

“ I never had one until now.” 

 

I may not have been looking at Armin, but I could see out of the corner of my eye that he was smiling a little. I wasn’t sure why. You never could be sure about anything with that kid.

 

“My favorite color is metallic grey and jet black.” he blurted.

 

“ Oh ho~ So specific.” I teased. “Why’s that?”

 

“Because they remind me of good memories. But also because they now remind me of someone.” He was trying his best to suppress his laughter, but it just kept finding ways to leap through his teeth that held his bottom lip prisoner. 

 

“Who is it they remind you of?” I asked.

 

Silence kissed the inside of my ear drums, like an ever returning lover. The soft whisper of rain and the fake crackle of the fireplace app muttered under the sounds of our breathing. It was well placed and made me forget that just a few minutes ago I was losing my mind. Instead, it made me focus on how our breathe and heat were indirectly mingling together in the air. He smelled faintly of my three tone antioxidant blueberry extract  [ body wash ](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/01/74/d2/0174d2c0fa3ed8359b422400e07a61c7.jpg) ; and it all made me think of how he was wearing my clothes and somehow making it look like a whole new outfit. It all made me think about how everything about him was just so…. 

 

_ Amazing. _

 

I stopped my counting and marked the number “ _ 235” _ in my brain as I turned my head over to Armin. Relaxation colored his irises, as if God took his time to color in the lines. It made me feel like he was speaking to me, but I knew he hadn’t said a word yet. But even though he hadn’t, I was willing to wait until he found the words he wished to speak to me. I slowly came to the conclusion that if he ever ended up mute, I would still always wait for his reply. Whether it came from the vibrations in his vocal cords or from the motions of his hands wouldn’t matter to me. I was willing to always be patient for him when I could if it meant he would just look at me like that.

 

“ You want to know who the person is?”

 

“Yeah, I do. Unless it’s a secret?”

 

“ Hmm.”, he hummed as he lazily tapped his finger against his chin, feigning thoughtfulness. After a few seconds, he spoke again. “ I’ll tell you later if it all ends well.”

 

I almost asked him what he meant, but something in me stopped myself from doing so. On second thought, I decided to play a game of twenty questions with Armin. By the end of it, I learned that he hated armadillos due to everyone in his elementary class calling it “ _ Armin _ dillos”, he liked carrots raw but not cooked, he dressed alternatively due to a kid once saying he couldn’t “work” it even if he tried but later found out that he rather enjoyed it, and a number of other things. One of those things being that he loved music.

 

“ So you’re telling me you know that song word from word? There’s no way.”

 

“ I swear on every pair of black socks I own that I can rap Dungeon’s Dragon, word by word.”

 

“Pfft, there’s no way, Blondie. You don’t have the sass for that.”

 

Armin fakely gasped as he incredulously stared at me in shock.

 

“ I am and will  _ forever _ be the King of Sass, thank you very much!”

 

“ Oh, really?~”

 

“ Yeah  _ really _ .”

 

“ Prove it.”

 

I truly did expect him to attempt Nicki’s song and fail miserably, resulting in him pouting for the rest of the night like a little brat. But what I didn’t expect, was him sitting up and inhaling a deep breath before exhaling. It was at that moment that I knew I had  _ royally _ fucked up. 

 

“ I am not Jasmine, I'm Aladdin.

So far ahead, these bums is laggin'.

See me in that new thing, bums is gaggin'.

I'm startin' to feel like a dungeon dragon.

Raah, raah, like a dungeon dragon.

I'm startin' to feel like a dungeon dragon.

Look at my show footage, how these girls be spazzin'.

So fuck I look like gettin' back to a has-been?

Yeah, I said it, has-been.

Hang it up, flat screen.”

 

I was dumbfounded by the more lyrics he spat. It was fluid, assertive, bold, and it all came out of his mouth as if he had wrote it all himself. Nicki would be proud to hear Roman’s Revenge rapped with such passion. Fuck, I was hella proud just for being able to witness this. It was breathtaking.The moment he finished the last few verses, I immediately began to confront him on how the hell he had learned  **all** of that. 

 

“ Haha, well… My friends used to dare me to do things like learn rap songs or attempt to make homemade pizzas at night. Which, by the way, did not end well. Especially since we were all plastered out of our minds every time.”

 

“ You drink?” I asked.

 

“ Surprised?”

 

“Pfft. Not at all. You look like the type of brat that would be a little rebellious. And would you stop wiggling those eyebrows at me. It makes you look like you’re plotting something.”

 

“And what if I am?” Armin questioned as he continued to wiggle his eyebrows suggestively.

 

“Tch. Then you can keep that shit over there, sir.”

 

“Awww. That’s not very nice.”

 

“Ha, never said I was  _ nice. _ ”

 

“Hmph.”

 

Our conversations continued to venture far after that. It went from little secrets we kept as children that now seemed so ridiculous to our biggest fears. Of course, I didn’t just spit all the thoughts that actually skipped around in my head, but he did get the honor to know more about me than my own parents did. That in itself was shocking. Very shocking.

 

“ So ok, I do have one more question. You don’t have to fucking answer it but... _ shit _ fuck it.”

 

“ You know, I’m starting to think you don’t even notice how often you over pronounce the word ‘shit’.”

 

“ Oh, shut the hell up. I’m just saying you don’t have to answer what I’m going to ask if it makes you uncomfortable, is all. But you know what, never mind.”

 

“Now there’s no reason to get so hostile, Captain. Go ahead and ask away.”

 

I stared at Armin for what felt like ages before I began to speak again. My voice was slightly strained and I tried to make my eyes hold a somewhat serious tone. I wanted him to know there was no pressure, but also that this was a subject I had been meaning to ask since I had met him on the bus yesterday.

 

“ You sure?” I hesitantly asked.

 

It was quiet when he started to brush his hair out of his eyes. He then turned on his side facing me as he leaned on his elbow. Sluggishly, he peered down at me as he blew his bangs out of his face just for them to fall right back where they had originally resided. The boy was trying his best to meet my gaze, but his hair was preventing him from doing so somewhat. It was fine by me though. Even if I couldn’t see his entire face, I was at least able to see the expression his face held. It was genuine interest in what I had to say, and that alone was enough for me. After he got settled, he then spoke his answer to my question with an unflustered voice.

 

“Yeah. I’m sure.” he said.

 

I slowly did a couple deep inhales first before a few exhales worked their way through my lips. The faint smell of lemons and blueberries met my nostrils. It was natural smelling and it helped me to feel safe.  _ It’s ok to ask,  _ I thought _. He won’t be mad. He...You’d never get mad at me, would you? _

  
“ I wanted to know…. Why are you dating a boy like Jean?” .

**Author's Note:**

> So....what do you guys think? I hope it was worth the wait. ^^
> 
> Please comment below.
> 
> Give me ideas guys! I have no idea what I'm doing. cx
> 
> P.S. Have you guys noticed how I'm using the colors to express the moods?  
> Have ya yet? No? Ok then. TuT


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